“Real life is elsewhere!” a man in one of my favourite director’s movie, Koterski, exclaims, and I think – what a wonderful metaphor for how we often feel when we reach a certain age and suddenly it turns out that it is not what it was supposed to be. The phrase “real life” was still ringing out in my head, and I couldn’t help but wonder: Are we really immersed in the depths of our imaginations, waiting for this perfect life and we do not notice that it just flows past us, leaks through our fingers?
Is real life somewhere else?
It happens that we suddenly wake up and, looking at the time that has passed, start to wonder: is it all? This is really my life? We feel not only disappointment but also disbelief, because how could it happen that so many years have passed and nothing significant has happened? Why we are not who we want to be? Then we start to whip and blame ourselves for everything that did not happen.
You pay for delaying and pointless waiting with what will never happen, with what you will never experience.
Probably you know many people suspended in life waiting for IT. And by IT I mean anything: some girls waiting to be discovered by a powerful film director who can make them a star. Some guys are waiting for this special woman, but somehow she never knocks on their door. Some waiting for the right time when they can finally start doing THIS GREAT THING. This way we have many novels that are still in the minds of authors, not on paper and many businesses that will never be established. Then we also have a lot of grudges against the world.
Unless you reach for it yourself, no one will give it to you
Whatever happens in our lives and whatever not happening – both have a source within ourselves. There is nothing out there, no special force that will make it for us. You are responsible for all things that don’t happen. Taking on the burden of this responsibility is the first step to building your own efficiency.
Why the things we desire hasn’t happened yet? Why is the ideal scenario of our lives so different from what we really have in life?
It’s important to answer that and be totally honest about it. Totally. Even if it were to hurt us deep inside.
The answer to this tends to be similar for many of us. It’s fear, a lack of importance, and a failure to assume 100% responsibility for our own lives. Without taking total responsibility for our lives, we can always blame something that did not work out on the circumstances or someone else and feel better about it. Only when we understand that we are in control of what happens or not can we begin to really live. Because what does not happen in our lives is also the result of our actions, just like what happens.
I’ll leave you here, with beautiful and wise words of Gurudeva Subramuniyaswami:
“We must realize that every moment in our life, every joy and every sorrow, can be traced to some source within us. There is no ‘out there’ making it all happen. We make it happen or not happen according to the actions we perform, the attitudes we hold and the thoughts we think.”
Are you too waiting too long for the perfect life?