Probably you have a bunch of dreams that you wish to come true and probably you’ve set up your goals while ago. But months, years passing and you are not even near there. Why is that? Why, despite the huge ambitions and even bigger resolutions, you are still in the place you don’t want to be? Why do you still feel like you are sitting on the bench during the match of your life? It’s not because you’re too lazy or too stupid. It’s because you’re doing too many things that drive you away from the goal.
Stop talking and start doing
People talks, people love taking and this is ok. The problem is that in most cases they talk more than they do. I have a friend who always says action, not talking. And this is the essence of what you have to hold onto to get something valid in your life.
I know many people who love to talk about their achievements, even if a bigger part of those exist only in their heads, or on social media bio. You know, athletes with obesity, writers without a book or businessmen without a business. They live a success that has not yet happened.
People sometimes deceive themselves to feel better or add a certain “surplus” to their lives to improve their image in the eyes of themselves and others. They telling you that they work on some big business project, but in fact, they just scrolling through Forbes articles all day. They’re telling you how amazing their new business website will look, but the only thing they manage to do is upload another selfie on Instagram.
What things you’re doing to not achieve your goals?
Lots of these issues come to motivation, but you know – motivation directed in the wrong way. Because sometimes you can be more motivated to eat a cake than to do yoga, am I right?
Look at your average day, everything you do and spend your time on. What are the things you are not doing to get a dream job, more money or a better relationship?
Achieving your goals will be very difficult until you define that one thing: what drives you towards the goal and what pulls you in a different direction.
Why doesn’t anything change?
You get in your life what you focus on. Fulfilling yourself is difficult when your attention is drawn to the things that stand in the way of achieving your goal.
Sometimes you can avoid doing certain things because you are scared; you scared of the outcome, you’re afraid it won’t come out the way you want it to. When I’m right before ending a writing project I’m terrified that I will blow it. So I start to cook dumplings or learn to bake a cake, which I never normally do. Just to avoid doing the right thing, because I’m afraid it won’t turn out the way it should.
You see my point here. If I want to be a writer, I must focus on writing, not training my culinary skills. This applies to all of us. If you dream of a specific goal, do what will bring you closer to it, not distance it.
What you don’t do to achieve your goal is all that involves sabotaging yourself. It’s your lack of persistence and effort avoidance. Everything you neglect and put aside. All the days that you say, “I’ll start tomorrow”.
I know a lot of people who are driven by a desire for success. Most of them, however, can’t even define what success means to them. It’s like the biggest priority in life, but they can’t even describe it. I’ve heard so many times people saying things like “I need to achieve something”, or ” I want to be someone”. Well, the first thing on your way to achieving your goals is to determine what you actually want.
What is the success you want?
Success is a very tricky word, and sometimes I feel that would be favourable if we could redefine it for ourselves. Success is something different for every human being because our inner structures are different from each other. Unfortunately, the stereotype that success is related to money, social standing and power still linger. But it doesn't have to be that way.
People don’t know what they want. They follow dreams of others; they fall into traps settled by social expectations or expectations of their loved ones. They are chasing a pattern of success set by other people, so even if they finally achieve it, they don’t feel happy neither fulfilled.
There is a reason for every one of us to be on this world. Fulfilling a person’s mission does not have to involve momentous things. Something that the world will not hear can also be a great success. Let’s not seek recognition in the eyes of other people, because everything we need to be happy is hidden deep within us. Let’s just look inside ourselves more often.
I had a friend who was obsessed with “achieving something”. I mean, she wanted social recognition so badly, that at some point it ceased to be important how would she achieve it. She struggled between opening ill-considered blogs and the Instagram pages where she wanted to become famous. Nothing worked as she wished. Why? After all, she was determined to be successful. Well, there was no direction in her chaotic activities. There was no vision.
Without vision, there is nothing.
As Stephen Covey wrote in his best-selling book, you need to begin with the end in mind. You need to have a vision which will influence your thoughts and actions. Knowing the direction in which you are going makes it easier to determine the itinerary.
Only specific actions aimed at specific goals can bring the intended effect. Otherwise, it is only drifting, bouncing off the banks.
Once we define our personal journey, we must realize that everything depends on us, on our proactivity. We must not fall behind in the phase of dreams and plans; we must take the first step, then the next and another.
It’s not enough to tell yourself – I want to be successful in life. You need to clearly define what this success supposed to be.
If you are struggling to define your vision, take it easy. The tension has never helped anyone. Start by reflecting on all the things you enjoy doing. Make a list of those things and a list of the things you dislike. Think about what makes you happy, what makes you want to get out of bed in the morning. Take a close look at your emotions. This is an excellent start to building the foundations of what you want to base your life on.
If you have a vision of your life, it defines you and your actions. Knowing where you are going makes you surely get there.
I am the type of reliable person. If I say I’ll do something, I’ll do it. Not necessary now. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe in ten years.
As a person endowed with a hedonistic curse, I’ve always thought that self-discipline was almost impossible to master. Why? Because there was so many more pleasurable stuff to do around me. And another thing is that inurement of self-discipline can be unpleasant and painful.
And that’s what it is – because changing and leaving your comfort zone hurts like hell.
What are the mistakes we make when approaching self-discipline? First, is to treat it as forcing ourselves to do things we don’t want to do. You can say: Hey, but isn’t that the case? I will put it this way – forcing yourself to do things you don’t want to do, would be eating a can of worms. It’s something different in case of struggling with discipline in relation to your goals. After all, you want to do it. You just don’t want to do it right now.
Deferred gratification is the key to self-discipline
Building self-discipline is more like overcoming the momentary reluctance and focusing on gratification, which we will not receive immediately. The impulse for an immediate reward is natural and it is because our organisms recognize it as something related to survival. (There is a reason why self-control seems most difficult in the case of food and sex).
According to Baumeister self-regulation theory, there are five domains of gratification delay: food, physical pleasures, social interactions, money and achievement.
There’s no easy way to dealing with a habit of instant gratification. Initially, we do have to force ourselves to something. To make things a little easier, do it with a vision of the end, with a vision of what you want to achieve.
How can you help yourself with that? Here are a few things that helped me climb out of a dark hole of laziness:
SURROUND YOURSELF WITH VISUALISATIONs OF THINGS YOU WANT TO ACHIEVE
It can be printed photos of a place you want to go, so every time you are tempted to siphon off some of the money you are saving for your journey, you might think twice. You can change your screen saver to a picture including a version of yourself you want to become. I must admit that I myself signed my photo “a writer” and every time I was tempted to do something else, I thought about what Aga the writer would do. Then I sat down and started working on my project. My second book will be published next year, so I’m sure this tactic works! Same like putting a picture of a terribly obese woman on a fridge door while I started to spiral into another never-ending sugar high.
The thing is, you need to feed your mind with a vision that will absolutely kick of motivation.
Don’t overwhelm yourself with big tasks if you struggle with even doing your bed in the morning. Set one small thing for yourself and focus on it. Then gradually add more. If you want to write don’t throw yourself into a goal of 30 pages per day, you’re not fucking Stephen King! Make it real and achievable. for the start will be enough if you just sit and write something every day. No matter how long, it can be only a few sentences. The only important thing is that you did it. These are the foundations for your new, emerging habit.
KEEP A DIARY
Write down everything that needs to be done and tick off what you have done at the end of the day. You’ll see that your ego will want you to tick off everything from the list, so after a while, your “to-do ” list will be DONE every day.
Every day set one goal you absolutely must do and do it even if the world collapses. Just do this one thing and the rest will be easier.
TELL OTHERS ABOUT IT
If you commit yourself to something by telling others about it, it will be harder for you to get away from it. How would you feel telling your friends about your new ‘fit resolutions’, and then being get caught eating fast food? Not so great, right?
Self-control is a very extensive topic, so here I focused on what worked for me. And you have to know that I’m not an easy case;)
At the end one thing I’ve read somewhere and it sticks to my mind: Be stronger than your strongest excuse.
When life suck people tend to create illusion zones, where they feel safe. Sometimes they lead a double life – one in reality and the other one that happens only in their heads. Why this is not a great idea and why it doesn’t help to reduce ‘suckiness’? Because running into fantasies when life doesn’t work out is not the solution.
Did you noticed how often we put dreams aside, for later? For distant time when we will be ready – and this could mean anything – time when we’ll be perfect, less fat, or less busy. So we are waiting. But usually we are not becoming perfect 55 kg creatures with lots of spare time. Same, our dreams get dusty, and then we forget about them. Or worse – we transfer them to an imaginary sphere of fantasy. A place where nothing happens for real.
I have a friend who dreamed of becoming animator. He studied hard and got better and better every year. Some of his college tutors worked for amazing animation company – I mean really amazing – one of those guys you can see at Oscars Awards. As they knew him well, cause he also worked part time in a market beside their office, they offered him a possibility to join them – first as a trainee of course. Do you know what’s happened? He decided that he was not ready yet, because to join them he had to feel that he is perfect – otherwise they could see that he sucks. He abstained. It happened quite a few years ago and he never had a similar opportunity again. The lesson here? First – that some occasions happens only once in a lifetime.Second – never wait to be perfect – you won’tbe anyway! Waiting to become perfect hold you back from whatever you want to achieve. Instead, just go out there, make mistakes, learn, gain experience and work hard – this is how the path to success is paved.
Another thing that cuts our wings is that we are not commit to our goals 100%. We think that we dream big, but in fact we remain in our safe zone. We dream halfway, as if afraid of it. If you think seriously about your life and your goals you need to answer one question:
How bad you want it?
Are you ready to sacrifice your time and comfort to achieve it? Are you ready to loose something to get the thing you want? Do you want it so bad that you will agree to work hard while you could simply watch Dark on Netflix, or go out with your friends to this new fancy craft beer place? It is your choice, but keep in mind that sometimes success is about cutting back on pleasure in the present moment.
Psychologists and coaches talking about deferred gratification and it seems to me that ability to delay reward/pleasure is a key here. Without self-control and self-discipline, our dreams are houses of cards.
And I know how hard is to seat at the desk to work on your dream project while you’re tired as hell because you just back from your 8-hours shift in the office. I know that when you back home and see cozy armchair, soft blanket, favorite book beside, scented candle on the windowsill, cabinet filled with flavored tea you don’t wanna go out for a jogging, even if you promised to yourself that you will lose this jelly like substance coating your thighs. And I know that it seems almost impossible to grab that language manual just like you planned it, because in a fact you don’t need to know that fucking German to watch those tempting you tube tutorials on how to build bird houses. Or how to replant flowers. Or trees. Trust me – all these are more exiting than learning German.
If you tend to lose your motivation, simply feed it! Get a journal and write everyday about all your dreams, even those crazy ones, that seem unattainable. Make a list of your dreams, read them over and over again and reflect on them – let your mind soak through it! Hang some inspirational pictures and quotes on your wall, in your wardrobe, even on your bathroom mirror – let everything around remind you about what you standing for. Meditate and visualize your goals everyday – remember that everything in your life starts in your mind.
You become better only by doing things, not by waiting for them to happen
Better doesn’t mean perfect. Your life doesn’t need to be perfect so you can feel joy, fulfillment and excitement. Success is not a finished thing, but the whole road that leads to it. What defines your success should not be based on what you have, but on the actions taken. Sometimes you may feel totally unprepared, but take action anyway. Start acting before you feel ready – the rest will follow. If you expect the best, it flows to you.
When I opened my small natural skincare company I had no freaking idea how should I do it. But I had that concept I loved and I’ve done it anyway – it was total improvisation, but it worked at the end! Same with this blog – as English is not my first language I worried a bit it would be hard. Of course I could spend a countless time on improving my grammar skills and wait for become better at it – and you know what? Probably I would never write a single word here. I said to myself fuck it, I’ll do it anyway! And this is how most of great things on this world works – if you don’t know how to do it, don’t wait – improvise!
Your current life is the sum of your decisions once made. Whatever they were – right or wrong – if you made other decisions, your life would look completely different now. You can think about it in butterfly effect categories.
Every action taken leads to some effects, and the same applies to actions you never took.
Your day consists of 86400 seconds. Each separately may not mean much, but put together they create your decisions, successes, memories – your whole life. So stop underestimating your time. This is the most precious thing you have.
All your life depending on one decision – what you decide to do with the time you have.
So how to make the right choices?
You really thought I was going to tell you that? No, there’s no right answer here. There is only one thing you can be sure – your actions matter. Because you become what you do. Take action even if you are not sure what to do. Take action, even if it requires extra-human effort. Take action even if you will change your mind after some time. Your life quality depends on it.
There’s a bunch of people out there who never did anything because they were paralyzed by fear, uncertainty and perfectionism. At the end of the day, they don’t feel that fear anymore, they are sure that nothing bad will happen to them and they don’t need to be afraid of being imperfect – because they did not do anything! They gained nothing but an illusory sense of comfort that doesn’t lead to anything. If you want your life to be like a beautiful dream fuck that all and let yourself to feel that fear, let yourself to be imperfect! In the process of creating a big life, it will not have any meaning!
Comfort zone is a bitch
Things you could do doesn’t matter. What matters is what you really did. Trust me, I’ve been myself in that dreamland where are so many possibilities ( talents, occasions), but because of some mean higher power (perfectionism, fear of being judged, impostor syndrome – you name it), nothing ever happens.
Waiting for things to be perfect is like waiting for a last episode of those long TV series. It just never happens!
Whatever is the thing you want to do, but you’re afraid, start – even despite yourself. Then somehow it will go. If you’re terrified about all things that might go wrong, think about the worst-case scenario. Then imagine that it really happens. And how are you feeling about it? Not so great, but you’re still alive and the world did not end. So is it really worth wasting energy on worrying?
Image by Gerd Altman fromPixabay
Focus on what you can do, not what you can’t do
Each of us has a set of features that distinguish him from others. Many factors contribute to success – mindset, personality, talents or the right moment. Not everyone can become a new Elon Musk, but anyone can become someone. If you are focused on what you lack, like money, acquaintances, a super-efficient body, or mathematical genius, you’ll never leave this vicious circle called „I can’t”. Instead of tormenting yourself with what you do not have, or cannot do, think about what you can do.
You can always be a better version of yourself. Don’t compare your life with people who succeed – everyone has a different background and things are different for each one. Do what you can do in the situation you are in now.
Value your time and energy
Think about the time and energy you have like you think about money. You don’t waste them on things you don’t need, you don’t give them away to anyone who asks for it, and usually, you plan to spend it, right? So why don’t you treat your time and energy in the same way?
When you wake up every day you have a certain amount of time and energy to dispose of. Don’t waste it. Don’t do things that lead nowhere. If you know what you want to achieve focus on it. Don’t get distracted by things you don’t feel like doing, but it’s hard for you to refuse. This applies to things and people. Sometimes, on a way to your dream life, you’ll learn that the most useful word is NO.
Because you will have to say ‚no’ to everything that takes you away from your goal.
Have you ever wondered what your life will look like in five, ten years? And do you remember that version of yourself from a few years ago, who wondered what it’s gonna be like in the future? What would you think of the person you are now, seeing yourself through the eyes of five or ten years younger you?
Most of us, unfortunately, would not be happy, and certainly there would be those whose such self-image would fill with horror. Why is it happening so often that we becoming someone we did not want to become?
Sometimes, despite being stuck in a situation that doesn’t suit us, we are not able to even change the state we are in. We forgetting about the dreams we once had, and we are not believing anymore that we can ever make them come true. We loosing ourselves in boring everyday life, we postponing life for later. As a result, we are not who we really would like to be, and we don’t do what we would like to do.
Have you ever experienced such a feelings? If you say yes, you know very well how much it sucks. And how difficult is to break free from it. However, it doesn’t mean that the changes are impossible, but before you try to make them, first try to find out why you stuck in this personal shit hole.
Once you realize what holds you back, you will be able to create and implement a dream vision of your life. And of yourself, because your life is reflection of what is happening inside you.
You are waiting for something that will happen by itself
Don’t we all waiting for some miracles? But you know what? Nothing will happen by itself! You don’t live in a fairy tale in which beautiful prince will come to save you and make you happy for the rest of your life. You are also not the lucky one from an old movie, where someone might notice your great talent and make you famous and rich. The only fairy you can count on in your life is YOU!
To get anything from life, you first have to give something of yourself. Perhaps some dedication, attention, time, patience and perseverance.
It depends only on you how your life will go. If you have a dream based on your passion, devote yourself one hundred percent to it, and it will definitely pay off. What is the thing that you really want to do? If you already know, I have one simple piece of advice: DO IT! Even if you have to start small and uncomfortable. Everyone started somewhere.
Lack of motivation and bad habits
Finding motivation is not easy, and maintaining it at the same level seems impossible at all. That is why it’s very important to develop proper habits. Achieving goals (we can also call them dreams) often requires tedious work, effort, dedication and time. Successful people go through this difficult path because they can control themselves. Self-discipline is the key. It might seems too simple, but just think about it: if you were able to control yourself to such an extent that every day, but absolutely every day, you would do the tasks you set for yourself (it could be anything: learning a language, training, playing the guitar, learning how to draw, programming, singing etc.), how far would you be today? By devoting some part of the time every day (or almost every day) and being systematic we are able to bring almost any skill to the master level. We just need to control our desire to switch to Netflix + pizza mode, which is not an easy matter.
Two deadly “P”
Procrastination and perfectionism are two words that you will have to cross out from your dictionary. Forever.
Procrastination, that is tendency to postpone everything, is the killer of our dreams. Be honest with yourself, how often you use a phrase that you’ll do something ‘another time’? Well, I will tell you one thing whatever your answer is. Too often. Another time is mythical land that doesn’t exist, is a cold space where dreams die. Another time it won’t be better, easier or otherwise. Another time there will be less time to do, what you can do now.
Next hideous ‘P’ is perfectionism, which often destroys our effort from the very beginning. When we start doing something, it is obvious that we are not perfect at it, and the awareness of it may deprive us of the motivation to try at all. We are not perfect even when we do something for a long time, and it does not mean that we do not do it right.
As Sheryl Sandberg said Done is better than perfect. You don’t need to be perfect to be great. You can achieve amazing things by being wonderfully imperfect. And this way is more fun too. It’s totally enough if you’re becoming better than yesterday, wherein you compete only with yourself, not with someone else.
Look at people who are successful in the field in which you would also like to do something, they are not perfect in what they do. Many great musicians having bumps on the stage, many writers creates things that are not always worth the Nobel prize, many active actors have a failed role in their achievements. None of them are perfect, but each of them is great. You can be too.
You are tired of life
You get up very early so you don’t won’t be late for work. Work you don’t like. You are in too much of a hurry to enjoy your morning coffee, and you quickly swallow breakfast, so that you “don’t waste” too much time – a time you want to use to do things that you don’t enjoy anyway. At work, you count the hours to the end. Returning home, instead of thinking about a free afternoon / evening, you think about all that you MUST do. Shopping, supplies, cooking, washing, setting up the laundry, cleaning the bathroom, replying to e-mails, calling the bank … over and over again. Well, to feel a bit better, please realize that you don’t have to do anything! Think in terms of choice rather than coercion.
If you’re burned out you don’t have the strength or even the desire to fulfill your dreams and goals. If you are tired, let it go and just relax. In the multitude of obligations that we often impose ourselves, it is very easy to lose a healthy approach to life. If you do not vacuum the apartment once, but instead you’ll be lounging in a hot bath reading the most inspirational novel, will something bad happen?
The above thoughts are the harvest of the fights with my own inner lazy demons, and it doesn’t mean that I won the fight. Sometimes I win, sometimes I loose. The fight is still going on. You know what helps me to keep going? To refresh my dreams from time to time, so I’ll never forget what I’m standing for.
Hey, do you know that you can achieve better life just by tuning a few things in your mind? Sounds too good to be true? Maybe naively? So I have to tell you there is more in you that you ever suspected. Do you really think that the brains we have been provided with are just an unsightly piece of flesh? Make no mistake about – we are equipped with powerful tools that are able to provide us with what we want. And they’re all in your head. How astonishing is that?
I know you’ve probably heard about positive thinking so many times, that you rolling your eyes every time you see another article about it. But have you ever really delved into this concept and tried to unravel the rules behind it? I don’t want to duplicate content that appears everywhere, but I think it’s worth summarizing and refreshing what we know about it. And maybe add something on the top of that.
The thing is simple – positive mindset is based on the assumption that no matter what, I’ll be fine. As with many of the things I talk about on this blog – it’s simple but not easy. So let’s look closer.
First thing you need to realize is that you are capable of achieving things. If you don’t believe it, why would you even bother? Faith is first, indispensable ingredient of a positive mindset. You can achieve anything if you believe it is possible. Now, I know what you thinking – not everything is possible, and you are damn right! Some things, like becoming king of Thailand, build your dream house on the Moon, or become better rock band that Iron Maiden, will never happened 😉 What I mean is that you are able to obtain things, that are already achievable for others, like become successful in some fields, whatever attracts you. Thing about it – if other people managed to gain something, why you can’t? Are you missing something or were you born defective? In 99% answer is no. You are full, you are gifted and totally capable to attain your dreams. If you look at successful people there is one thing they surely have in common – a clear believe that they are able to achieve what they decide to achieve. Sometimes if you read biography of excellent person you might notice that their life is not perfect. Oftentimes they struggled with many obstacles. But things like dysfunctional background, no financial support or physical inconveniences did not prevent them from achieving success. They believed in themselves and they were right! Why? Here comes another thing hiding behind positive mindset idea – a self-fulfilling prophecy.
"Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve" - N.Hill
Self-fulfilling prophecy is a psychological phenomenon compounded in 1948 by Robert K. Merton, also known as ‘Oedipus effect’. It’s like a thought or expectation that manifests in life because it has been thought. Simplifying, we get what we expect. This conception is clearly merged with the so-called law of attraction, according to which our thoughts are manifested in reality. So whatever believes you hold about yourself they will influence your actions, performance, behavior and practically whole life.
In assumptions of the discussed theory we distinguish the Pygmalion effect or aureole effect, based on the usurpation that we achieve the results we expect, that awaited success appears in our life. It is about fulfilling a positive expectation towards someone because we have created this positive expectation. A similar process works in the opposite direction in the case of low expectations. And this applies not only to ourselves, but to the world around us and to other people.
Let me illustrate this using example of classic experiment from 1950, wherein social psychologist, professor Harold Kelley told one group of students that the next class would be led by a lecturer who is warm, progressive, critical, practical and determined. In the second group, the word “warm” was replaced by “cold”. The result? New lecturer was assessed by the first students as independent and flexible, and by the second – as intolerant, explosive and stiff in beliefs. Sound impressive, right?
Now you know how important is to create a self-suggestion that will meet your goals. Here you really need to forget about all bullshit that keep you from the life you want. Don’t you even dare thinking that you are not enough educated, brave, creative, attractive, clever, ingenious. Fuck it, who told you that? Parents, teachers, other people? Fuck them to! If you think this way about yourself, what you need to do is replace that thinking with thoughts that will make you feel better! It’s not easy and quick process, but once you start you will discover a great difference in your life. So manifest it, use affirmations and imagine yourself the way you would like to see yourself. If you change the image of yourself in your head, your whole life will change.
While you are working on your own positive mindset you might wonder how is possible to stick to it, while you experiences some difficult times. I want you to memorize, repeat, keep in mind forever and if you still don’t get it, tattoo on your forehead:
there are no failures, only lessons.
Yes, we all fail, but it is our attitude that decides whether failure is failure. For people with positive mindset it’s always a lesson. If you learn something from the defeat, it’s not defeat anymore. Sometimes it might be a blessing we just need to look at everything from a different angle. I can tell you from my own experience that if my article were not rejected by newspaper, I would never start to focus on decent writing. Or if I had not been missed at the promotion, I would never have motivation to changed my job for one I really enjoy. The fact that something didn’t work out is just a hint of what you still need to work on. Think about it, how else should we learn and improve?
Your point of view, approach is the only thing you have control over. Even emotions are formed by behavior, and you have influence over it. Likewise life satisfaction is a matter of attitude, hence it is so vital to develop a sense of gratitude. Gratitude is like a magic spell which changes everything. Once you realize how many things you can be grateful for, you can instantly not only boost your mood, but gradually feel more satisfied with life. My life has changed since I began to be grateful for all these little things like peaceful morning with good book and coffee, beautiful sunset I could watch from my bedroom window, favorite song that I can listen over and over again on my phone. And all this leads to greater happiness, because our life consists of such small things. If you are reading this now on your laptop or phone I can assume that you belong to the lucky ones who are not in danger of war and misery, so even if you think that you have nothing to be grateful for, stop right there. You’re alive. You have a whole universe of possibilities in front of you
Your mind is powerful tool, it’s like the greatest, phenomenal computer created by nature. And it can work in your favor.Your job is to make sure you have the right ‘software’ – positive mindset. Feed it with beautiful thoughts full of gratitude, love and faith. Remember that all your thoughts are shaped by your attitude, and eventually you become what you think.
Have you ever felt that your dreams overwhelming you? That they won’t fit in your life, that they are greater than your capabilities and strength? This is absolutely natural, as doubt is a bitch that sometimes coming as uninvited guest, sitting next to you and pushes on the sofa, drinks from your beer glass without permission and takes the remote control. But there is one good thing you should know – you are in control of your mind and you can kick out that ugly bitch out of your head.
You are in charge of your mind.
Someone said that if you can control your mind you can control everything. This is so true, so simple, so awesome and powerful. You must realize that everything starts in your head. Everything. To apply anything into your life you need to start from the thought. But to really make this magic works you need to support your thoughts with action. What if taking action scares and paralyzing you? Don’t panic, it’s totally ok.
Start small but dream big
When reality or thoughts about what you want to achieve overwhelm you, decide to start small. Don’t try to take everything right away and do not rush. Approach tasks and challenges with a calm mind. But first be clear on what you want to achieve. Simply as it is – to achieve your goals you need to have them defined, preferably in details. You need to know what you want and you need to focus on it.
If you don’t know where you are going, you won’t get anywhere
Why you need to be specific? We all know new year resolutions, right? Imagine that your goal was to loose weight. After a year the weight shows 99 kg and you weighed 100 kg year ago. Well, you achieved your goal, you’ve lost weight! But is this really a success? You know the answer. This is why when you set your goal be definite as much as you can. Until end of December I will loose 30 kg. Now, this looks like a plan. This is appropriately designated goal. This applies to everything – when you saying that you want to be fit, be happy, be successful, be healthier it actual means shit. Specify what being successful means to you – is it financial freedom that determines success? Social recognition or fame? Or maybe raising great children or creating art? Know what success means to you. Don’t get trapped in the abstract ‘shell words’.
Concrete and measurable goals are the basis. Write them down, describe them and specify the time you will need to achieve them. Think about your goals, imagine how you implement them. Start with one thing that will lead you to success and add next steps when you are ready. If something appear too hard think about it from different perspective. Imagine your goal or problem is a huge elephant which you have to eat – how will you do it? Bite at a time. It’s impossible to eat the whole elephant at once, but you can do it piece by piece. If your goal is big or difficult divide it to smaller parts and work on each part at the time.
With the right mindset everything is possible. You need to focus on your dreams, you must desire them like nothing else, you need to be crazy about them! Stay focus – don’t get distracted by things that don’t matter.
We attract the things we focus on. So focus on what you want. Build an attitude based on confidence and self believe. If you know deep inside you that you’ll win, Universe has your back 😉
The right mindset, the key to your personal success, lies in desire, inner harmony, focus, involvement and unwavering faith in your abilities.
As Henry Ford once said:
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right”