Tag Archives: changes

Power of small changes

I really like autumn and the moment when it happens that one day you wake up, look out the window, and there you are greeted by burning red leaves. When did that happen, when did summer turn to fall? It seems that yesterday you were surrounded by greenery and September cobwebs. Well, it didn’t happen overnight. The trees changed colours imperceptibly, day by day. How does this apply to our lives? We, too, should change things slowly.

Whenever it comes to life transformations people prefer big changes. They like to see big shifts fast and when they don’t see it they feel like they have failed. This applies to every type of goal we set, from tiny to those really big ones; losing weight, getting fit, getting rich or changing career patch – we want it all and we want it now. If we do not see a significant change now, it is more likely that we will quit.

Little actions lead to big things

Everything takes time. Just as we need time to grow, learn, and improve our skills, our goals need this time to be fulfilled. There is an incubation period for everything. Actions we are taking today lead to results in the future, and depending on what we’re talking about, that future may be distant. And here the patience of a Zen master would come in handy, but how to develop it in yourself?

I think it will be helpful to look at everything from a distance and realize that time is working in our favour. We have a certain number of hours to use every day – it might seem that it is not much, because in twelve hours you will not lose 10 kg, you will not write a book or graduate from university. But if you spend even a small fraction of these twelve hours doing something, and you repeat it regularly, you will see the result in a while.

Let me illustrate it with an example. Writing a book can seem tedious and overwhelming (and it often is;)). You won’t sit down and write the entire book at once, but writing 5 pages a day already seems more realistic to achieve. Now think – 5 pages a day for sixty days is 300 pages. This is how little actions taken every day lead to bigger things.

The problem is that we often don’t see the results right away, so we won’t stick to our decisions.

It is very difficult to change your eating habits overnight, but let’s say just giving up eating a chocolate bar every day will make a difference in weight after a while. Same, you won’t become Hendrix right away, but practising even half an hour a day can make you play the guitar at a decent level. The same goes for learning a language, improving in some field, mastering meditation techniques, yoga – you name it.

People underestimate how everyday small actions and choices can affect the bigger picture of their lives. The secret to success lies in being consistent in your daily activities. Because there’s no such thing as an overnight success.

Focusing on a small change will help you with this dreadful feeling of disappointment when you don’t see big results instantly. If you are losing your patience and self-confidence waiting for the big thing to happen, try to see things from a slightly different perspective. Look at it in a way that your goal is in a development state. Small changes added to each other come together in a big change.

Read more about making changes here.

Allow yourself to change

One of the most significant things I realized in my adult life is that change is an indispensable part of everything, and you have to like it, or at least make peace with it, if you want to keep peace of mind. There’s only one thing certain in life – a change.

Opening up to change set you free.

We don’t like changes because we like the comfort of steady situations. We like it so much that this zone of comfort very often becomes our wall-free prison. As is the case with prisons, they do not allow for development and true freedom, even if their walls are made of fear and insecurity instead of bricks.

I’ve never liked changes myself. Watching how the world becomes a different place made me feel uneasy. Back then, If I only could, I would stop the time and live forever in the same surroundings and with the same people. The changes were so unpleasant for me that it was even obnoxious that my best friend dyed her hair from black to blonde. Probably for the same reason, I have worn the same looking black clothes for years. I think it has to do with the fear of passing away; but whatever we do, we won’t stop time. There are things that we will not change and which we have control over – it is a great relief to accept it. Being ok with the fact that we can’t control everything is freeing – sometimes we have to surrender to what the Universe brings to us.

It’s never too late

Sometimes we get so used to the role we play that it seems impossible to change. We create a picture of ourselves and stick to it for years. And yet we are changing with the world as well. I am not the same person as I was five, ten or fifteen years ago.

I am talking not only about everything that shaped our personality (because we can change it too!) but also about the choices that influenced where we are now.

I’ve made many decisions in my life; not all of them were right. Even when it comes to my professional career, I tried many things to quit and move on to something else after a while. Often it did not find approval of all my relatives, because according to most people, we should stick to a decision once made. As if evolving was inappropriate.

I studied literature and polish language, knowing I didn’t want to be a teacher. So I signed up for the journalism faculty. After my MA in Journalism and PR, I felt that I didn’t want to be a journalist at all. After that, I was doing a computer graphics course, but it didn’t appeal to me too much. Then I got caught up in the world of makeup, and then there was herbalism…even if today I do not want to develop further in these directions, each of these things gave me irreplaceable experience and knowledge. Who knows who I would be without it. It is possible that if I had not made changes, today I would be an unhappy Polish language teacher.

Each change takes time, but time will pass anyway, so don’t think that is too late for a change. Don’t think in terms of deficiency – that you are too old, too little gifted. If we assume that on average we need about five years to achieve a master level in something, then in one life we can make such significant changes at least several times.

There is nothing sadder than burying your dreams when you are middle-aged, with so many of empty years ahead of you.

What I want to say is that you don’t have to stay in one place if you feel you would be happier somewhere else. If you have been drawing your life with a red crayon so far, reach for the blue one if you want your future to be different than what you have so far! And never feel guilty about it!

Small big things

What are all the self-development blogs, books, vlogs, talks, methods used for, and why their popularity is still increasing? Why we are so crazy about the constant improvement of ourselves and everything around us? What is this holy grail of self-development? Well, in short, we want to be happy. Yeah, whatever that means. But really, what does it mean?   

If you happened to experienced a sudden feeling of fullness, maybe while sitting in a cosy armchair reading a favourite magazine and sipping steaming tea, or while having super tasty lunch with your bestie, or maybe when you’ve forgotten about the whole world while playing with your pet, you might get the point of what real happiness is.

Happiness is not created of super epic stuff like conquering the world. It’s rather like seeing the wonder in every little thing. True happiness resides in the realm of small things.

I’m sure you’ve heard about blue zones determined so by Dan Buettner. In his research, he identified the longevity „hotspots” of the world. The zones are Okinawa in Japan, Sardinia, Nicoya in Costa Rica, Icaria in Greece and the Seventh-day Adventists in Loma Linda, California. People living in these places share not only longevity but also a great sense of happiness. You must be wondering what a great secret lies behind it. Well, the trick is to live simple. People from those places share common lifestyle characteristics. Simplifying we can bring them to a sense of community, balanced diet and awareness of spirituality. Buettner breaks it down to nine following points:  

Moderate, regular physical activity

 Having a life purpose 

Controlling the level of stress 

Moderate caloric intake

Plant-based diet 

Moderate alcohol intake

Engagement in spirituality or religion

Engagement in family life and social life 

I can almost hear you thinking Is this for real? How the hell this can have such a significant impact on an overall sense of happiness? Well, the answer to this is that happiness is a very simple thing. Simple, but not easy. Like lots of things in our life which are simple, but not easy. Let me break this down for you: if you wanna lose weight you know what to do – you need the right diet and a dose of regular exercise. We can agree that this is simple. But…is it easy? We all know the answer.

Small things lead to great happiness

It seems to me that everything starts in gratitude. Happiness begins when we realize that there are so many things that we should thank the Universe.  How do I know? Because this is how I started my path to a better life. And you know what? Gratitude works, bitches.

Think, that there is somebody out there who is happy with less than you have. And think about all things you are grateful for, all the good things that happened to you, all amazing people you’ve met on your way, all chances that were given to you. And also think about all those opportunities and beautiful moments which are yet to come. Do not focus on all the material things you have, they are relevant, but not the most important. Of course, you should be grateful for them too, but turn your attention to what really matters. I’ve been getting rid of excess stuff for some time and I have to say that I feel good about it. I feel lighter. Still have many books, however those I know I won’t read again I donate to libraries. And perfumes, for which I have no excuse. But I won’t buy more. Promise.

My point is I do not own a lot of stuff. But I own lots of love for my boyfriend, my family, my pets and those few friends that I have. I own lots of joy with having a walk in the forest or with a glass of bordeaux in the evening. I own lots of passion for my favourite books, music, movies, art, poems. I own lots of satisfaction with my writing and drawing. I own lots of beautiful memories of great moments and great people. I own lots of hope and faith, and I own an incredible amount of dreams and goals that I know will be fulfilled. It’s so little and so much at the same time. 

I think having a goal is the basic driving force of everything.

To be happy you need to have a reason to get out of bed every day. This is another thing that people from the blue zone have in common – they never stop working, in a sense that they have bigger and smaller things to do. Everyday. Think about all those people, not only retirees, who lead aimless living filled at most with the waiting for the next episode of the TV series. Do you think they are happy? Well, how can you be happy being dead inside? Your goal, your mission is something personal, only you decide what it is. There’s no importance hierarchy here. For one it can be changing the world, for others creating something small but satisfying. 

We are all here for various reasons and they all are important.

 

First steps to your personal victory

Have you ever felt that your dreams overwhelming you? That they won’t fit in your life, that they are greater than your capabilities and strength? This is absolutely natural, as doubt is a bitch that sometimes coming as uninvited guest, sitting next to you and pushes on the sofa, drinks from your beer glass without permission and takes the remote control. But there is one good thing you should know – you are in control of your mind and you can kick out that ugly bitch out of your head.

You are in charge of your mind.

Someone said that if you can control your mind you can control everything. This is so true, so simple, so awesome and powerful. You must realize that everything starts in your head. Everything. To apply anything into your life you need to start from the thought. But to really make this magic works you need to support your thoughts with action. What if taking action scares and paralyzing you? Don’t panic, it’s totally ok.

Start small but dream big

When reality or thoughts about what you want to achieve overwhelm you, decide to start small. Don’t try to take everything right away and do not rush. Approach tasks and challenges with a calm mind. But first be clear on what you want to achieve. Simply as it is – to achieve your goals you need to have them defined, preferably in details. You need to know what you want and you need to focus on it.

If you don’t know where you are going, you won’t get anywhere

Why you need to be specific? We all know new year resolutions, right? Imagine that your goal was to loose weight. After a year the weight shows 99 kg and you weighed 100 kg year ago. Well, you achieved your goal, you’ve lost weight! But is this really a success? You know the answer. This is why when you set your goal be definite as much as you can. Until end of December I will loose 30 kg. Now, this looks like a plan. This is appropriately designated goal. This applies to everything – when you saying that you want to be fit, be happy, be successful, be healthier it actual means shit. Specify what being successful means to you – is it financial freedom that determines success? Social recognition or fame? Or maybe raising great children or creating art? Know what success means to you. Don’t get trapped in the abstract ‘shell words’.

Concrete and measurable goals are the basis. Write them down, describe them and specify the time you will need to achieve them. Think about your goals, imagine how you implement them. Start with one thing that will lead you to success and add next steps when you are ready. If something appear too hard think about it from different perspective. Imagine your goal or problem is a huge elephant which you have to eat – how will you do it? Bite at a time. It’s impossible to eat the whole elephant at once, but you can do it piece by piece. If your goal is big or difficult divide it to smaller parts and work on each part at the time.

With the right mindset everything is possible. You need to focus on your dreams, you must desire them like nothing else, you need to be crazy about them! Stay focus – don’t get distracted by things that don’t matter.

We attract the things we focus on. So focus on what you want. Build an attitude based on confidence and self believe. If you know deep inside you that you’ll win, Universe has your back 😉

The right mindset, the key to your personal success, lies in desire, inner harmony, focus, involvement and unwavering faith in your abilities.

As Henry Ford once said:

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right”

Rediscover Greatness

Until today I wouldn’t think that I’d start this blog. This was one of those quick, bright impulses in mind, that comes from who the hell knows where. I felt that I want to share something with you, and if witnessing my way to heal my life could help you anyhow, that will be the biggest award for my time spending on writing here. And rethinking and rewritig all these things will be therapeutic for me too.


You know what? There is Greatness in you. A real big deal. Perhaps, you had no chance to discover it yet, perhaps you were too busy with all bullshit that world throwed on you, so you couldn’t see it. Perhaps you believed in all those misleading ‘sooths’ about life, and that kept you away from seeing how amazing creature you are. Yes, you. Even if you think right now that you are one big human piece of dissapointment, regret and awkwardness and you are so fucked up, that there is nothing on this planet that could turn you into ‘decent’ individual.


You can unfuck whatever has been fucked up.


You were born pure and perfect. You were born to give and receive love. You were born to matter. There is not and never will be the same person as you. That’s already pretty awesome, don’t you think? Your thoughts, talents, skills, experience, dreams, perception of things making you someone really special. Even if you don’t see it in yourself now, there is something great deep inside you, something bigger than your flaws, insecurities and fears.

 It is greatness that allows you to understand and feel the world. Greatness that allows you create, dream, imagie and change.This blog is my diary of the patch that one needs to walk to discover this Greatness. It’s not a simple way. There is lots of shit around us and it is not always easy to see clearly through the prism of our painfull experiences. 


When we are born we don’t wonder if we are good enough, we don’t wonder if we deserve love, respect, appreciation. We don’t feel socialy awkward. We don’t think over and over again why we are such a loosers. We are born excellent, we are born ready to learn, to understand, to love, to delight and to struggle. Somewhere on our way we are forgetting all about that. Things happening and then we start to see everything through failure, rejection and fear. We start to feel unworthy and unimportant. We start to feel that our life doesn’t matter and we doesn’t matter either. We are loosing our willingness to do things. We are overwhealmed by responsibilities, debts, guilt and hopelessness. But let me tell you one thing:


It is up to you how your life will be 

There is this beautiful force, which everyone can posses. Ability to change. To fix. To unfuck.

No matter where you think you are on your life patch now – you can always do it. I’m not saying that this is easy, but it’s absolutely doable. If you change your thinking about yourself you will be able to see the Greatness in yourself.


Many years I worked in shitty jobs below my qualifications, just becaue I felt I’m not good enough to aply for something better. For years I drowned my fears and regrets in addictions. I had partners who didn’t respect me (for the simple reason that I didn’t respect myself) and friends who didn’t respect the way I wanted to be. I felt worse than almost anyone else I knew. I had constant feeling of being mismatched. I was judgmental and insecure. Very often I felt shame of being myself. On the other hand, somehow I knew that those negative feelings that was eating me alive, are not part of me, that real me is beyond that. But for long time I couldn’t separate myself from those pityful emotions. It took some time to understand that I am me, not my feelings, not my emotions or fears.


you are not what you feel

If you feel low it doesn’t mean that you are low person. If you feel unwothy it doesn’t mean that you are not worth the things you desire. If you feel anger it doesn’t mean you are bad person. If you feel scared it doesn’t mean that you’re coward. If you feel hopeless it doesn’t mean that there is no hope. 


Separate your feelings from the essence of yourself. Only this way you can start healing and discover your own greatness, your magnitude. Trust that there is place for you in this world, place where you can unlock all your potential, where you can be real.


 I know we all can find this place for ourselfs. Let’s start rediscovering our own Greatness.