Tag Archives: selfmotivation

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Good life is about achieve right perspective

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Your current life is the sum of your decisions once made. Whatever they were – right or wrong – if you made other decisions, your life would look completely different now. You can think about it in butterfly effect categories.

Every action taken leads to some effects, and the same applies to actions you never took.

Your day consists of 86400 seconds. Each separately may not mean much, but put together they create your decisions, successes, memories – your whole life. So stop underestimating your time. This is the most precious thing you have.

All your life depending on one decision – what you decide to do with the time you have.

So how to make the right choices?

You really thought I was going to tell you that? No, there’s no right answer here. There is only one thing you can be sure – your actions matter. Because you become what you do. Take action even if you are not sure what to do. Take action, even if it requires extra-human effort. Take action even if you will change your mind after some time. Your life quality depends on it.

There’s a bunch of people out there who never did anything because they were paralyzed by fear, uncertainty and perfectionism. At the end of the day, they don’t feel that fear anymore, they are sure that nothing bad will happen to them and they don’t need to be afraid of being imperfect – because they did not do anything! They gained nothing but an illusory sense of comfort that doesn’t lead to anything. If you want your life to be like a beautiful dream fuck that all and let yourself to feel that fear, let yourself to be imperfect! In the process of creating a big life, it will not have any meaning!

Comfort zone is a bitch

Things you could do doesn’t matter. What matters is what you really did. Trust me, I’ve been myself in that dreamland where are so many possibilities ( talents, occasions), but because of some mean higher power (perfectionism, fear of being judged, impostor syndrome – you name it), nothing ever happens.

Waiting for things to be perfect is like waiting for a last episode of those long TV series. It just never happens!

Whatever is the thing you want to do, but you’re afraid, start – even despite yourself. Then somehow it will go. If you’re terrified about all things that might go wrong, think about the worst-case scenario. Then imagine that it really happens. And how are you feeling about it? Not so great, but you’re still alive and the world did not end. So is it really worth wasting energy on worrying?

Image by Gerd Altman from Pixabay

Focus on what you can do, not what you can’t do

Each of us has a set of features that distinguish him from others. Many factors contribute to success – mindset, personality, talents or the right moment. Not everyone can become a new Elon Musk, but anyone can become someone. If you are focused on what you lack, like money, acquaintances, a super-efficient body, or mathematical genius, you’ll never leave this vicious circle called „I can’t”. Instead of tormenting yourself with what you do not have, or cannot do, think about what you can do.

You can always be a better version of yourself. Don’t compare your life with people who succeed – everyone has a different background and things are different for each one. Do what you can do in the situation you are in now.

Value your time and energy

Think about the time and energy you have like you think about money. You don’t waste them on things you don’t need, you don’t give them away to anyone who asks for it, and usually, you plan to spend it, right? So why don’t you treat your time and energy in the same way?

When you wake up every day you have a certain amount of time and energy to dispose of. Don’t waste it. Don’t do things that lead nowhere. If you know what you want to achieve focus on it. Don’t get distracted by things you don’t feel like doing, but it’s hard for you to refuse. This applies to things and people. Sometimes, on a way to your dream life, you’ll learn that the most useful word is NO.

Because you will have to say ‚no’ to everything that takes you away from your goal.

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You don’t have to fit in everywhere.

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Have you ever found yourself wondering if you look good enough or if you properly dressed? Or what to say if someone ask you, what do you think about emigration crisis? Have you ever noticed that, before you do something, you consider how it will affect your image in the eyes of other people? Have you ever felt that this image is more valuable than real you, because there’s no chance that real you can be liked to the same extend?

Do you know what is one of the saddest things to me? These types of questions typed in google: what do guys like? How to be liked? What men attract women? How to make people laugh? In fact, they all come down to one question: How should I be? You tube ‘psychologists’ often try to answer this question, while they advise you on how to be charismatic, and what perfumes choose to match your personality. More sadly, many people fall for it. The truth is that there is no such a thing as perfect formula by which you will learn what the best business idea is, how to write a bestseller, or how to make every guy fall in love with you.

The fact that we try to find ourselves in the expectations of other people is associated with the way we are brought up. Not only by parents, but by society. Even if we think that we are free from any of conventions or patterns of behavior, some part of us has already been programmed. Some part of us want to fit. Everywhere.

Now, don’t get me wrong – of course need to belong is natural part of us being humans, is absolutely natural and according to social psychology it condition many human behaviors. Writing about it I do not mean a sense of social identity or a healthy sense of belonging to certain groups. There’s a difference between fitting in and belonging.

What I mean here, are situations that are beyond common sense. Situations, where we force ourselves to live in specific split, because the face we show to the world is not our real face. We create some kind of avatar in order to be accepted. To fit it. But I tell you one thing – you’re not a piece of puzzle. You don’t need to fit it.

I worked in a perfumery some time ago, and do you know what the most common question people choosing fragrances was? It was: What’s popular? To me, a perfume freak, it was inconceivable! It was like – fuck my taste, fuck what I might like – let’s buy something trendy, what everyone likes! Sadly, it can be an allegory about other areas of our lives. 

Have you heard about bandwagon effect? It's a tendency people have to adopt a certain behavior, style, or attitude influenced by the pressure and norms exerted by groups.It can impact wide spectrum of human behaviors.

I’m sure we’ve all been there. I experienced it myself over many stages of my life. Sometimes I was too smart, sometimes I was too awkward, sometimes too shy, sometimes too ‘rude’. Among my close friends so often I felt too ‘dressed’, on the other hand, while I worked in beauty industry, I always felt too hippie.

I remember on my first make up job I was asked Which Kardashian is your favorite? Holy Shit, I had no idea there is more than one!

Does it mean that I don’t fit anywhere? No, rather that I’m unique human being. And yes, I still feel often that I stand out in many situations and contexts, with people and their perception of everything. And this is ok. It’s a pity that it took me so long to understand this.

Need of fitting in is sick. It does nothing but damage. The fact that each of us is different is the basis for individual development.

When I created my skincare brand, and went out there with all social media posts etc., one person told me that I have to change brand image, because it’s too dark, and not everyone will like it. Well, the thing is: I didn’t create it so everyone like it. I create it to fulfill my own vision and to express what I like and believe. Surely, it doesn’t sell in millions, but you know what? I have this great satisfaction that I created something real and I don’t mislead, in any way, people who buy my products.

It’s worth realizing that what’s good don’t have to please everyone.

This apply to everything – you can’t go out there and suit everyone. Instead, go inside and focus on what is real in you. Your inner self is the only individual that you have to get along with.