Tag Archives: success

Things you need to give up to be successful

Success is not accidental, it is the result of our actions, decisions, our attitude.


The definition of success varies from person to person, and that’s cool because none of us wants to be a tailor-made product of society, right? It seems so, but this spectre of a specific success recognized by society (and defined primarily in terms of financial achievements and social recognition) hangs over our heads. So before you think how to be successful in life, define what your success should be. Once it is clear you can start taking first, small steps towards it.

In pursuit of success, it is not just what we have to do that matters, but what we have to stop doing.

Steps to success including getting rid of many things in your life. What things? Keep scrolling to unveil my take on this matter, and give up on:

1. Excuses

Sound simple, but trust me – it’s not so simple to get out of this maze whose walls are built of I can’t, I’m too old, I’m too tired, I’m too fat, I’m too introvert, I’m too ugly, It’s too late or too cold…Have you happened to be there too? Of course, who hasn’t? This maze is like giant Disneyland but instead of cute princesses is populated with different figures: odd personifications of our fear, anger, and doubt. It’s a scary place to be.

It can be painful to get out of this maze, but it’s only temporary pain. Leaving your comfort zone is never fun. Once you cross out all I can’t and I’m too… from your dictionary, things will slowly start to fall into place.

So what is your worst excuse?

2. Unhealthy habits

Habits shape our lives, and good habits are the secret of a good life. To fully use our potential and achieve the life we want, we must get rid of what is in our way. Eating junk food, not getting enough sleep, overeating does not serve anyone, but unhealthy habits can be anything. For some, watching TV series can be a great inspiration, while for others it will be just a waste of time that does not bring anything good. You know what’s bad for you, don’t you? So start to replace all bad habits by those that will help you achieve what you want.

3. Envy

It is a feeling that plunges us into the depths of sadness, hopelessness and low self-esteem. It also hurts a lot and usually brings other negative emotions behind it, because when we feel envious, we are very ashamed of it. And yet it is very human to feel it. Envy, as Carlos Ruíz Zafón once wrote, is a blind man who wants to pierce your eyes.

Envy is always born of lack. It comes from a place of big sadness where is dark and cold, where our needs are neglected. Envy is looking at fulfilled people while carrying emptiness within ourselves. It’s worst than that because it causing this urge to spread this emptiness on all other people. We want them to lose whatever they have, so we won’t feel like the only ones not having it.

If you ever experience this dreadful feeling the best way thing to do is to stop comparing yourself to others (and yes, I know it can be a long process for many of us). Focus on yourself. Only yourself and your vision of your life. Other people are only a distracting background.

4. Toxic people

You don’t want to have them around you, because it is so easy to sink in into any negativity carried by others. The people around you have a big influence on your behaviour and approach to life. So surround yourself with people you admire, with whom you share the same values, and who support you at all times. If that means that you have to cut some relationships in your life – just do it. I’ve done it many times. There’s no point to stay in some fake friendship just because you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings.

That was only four, but really important four things that I think it is worth to just get rid off. No hard feeling, no regrets. Just ditch it and make room for something wonderful in your life.

Want to read more about this topic? Try here.

How positive thinking leads to success

Hey, do you know that you can achieve better life just by tuning a few things in your mind? Sounds too good to be true? Maybe naively? So I have to tell you there is more in you that you ever suspected. Do you really think that the brains we have been provided with are just an unsightly piece of flesh? Make no mistake about – we are equipped with powerful tools that are able to provide us with what we want. And they’re all in your head. How astonishing is that?

I know you’ve probably heard about positive thinking so many times, that you rolling your eyes every time you see another article about it. But have you ever really delved into this concept and tried to unravel the rules behind it? I don’t want to duplicate content that appears everywhere, but I think it’s worth summarizing and refreshing what we know about it. And maybe add something on the top of that.

The thing is simple – positive mindset is based on the assumption that no matter what, I’ll be fine. As with many of the things I talk about on this blog – it’s simple but not easy. So let’s look closer.

First thing you need to realize is that you are capable of achieving things. If you don’t believe it, why would you even bother? Faith is first, indispensable ingredient of a positive mindset. You can achieve anything if you believe it is possible. Now, I know what you thinking – not everything is possible, and you are damn right! Some things, like becoming king of Thailand, build your dream house on the Moon, or become better rock band that Iron Maiden, will never happened 😉 What I mean is that you are able to obtain things, that are already achievable for others, like become successful in some fields, whatever attracts you. Thing about it – if other people managed to gain something, why you can’t? Are you missing something or were you born defective? In 99% answer is no. You are full, you are gifted and totally capable to attain your dreams. If you look at successful people there is one thing they surely have in common – a clear believe that they are able to achieve what they decide to achieve. Sometimes if you read biography of excellent person you might notice that their life is not perfect. Oftentimes they struggled with many obstacles. But things like dysfunctional background, no financial support or physical inconveniences did not prevent them from achieving success. They believed in themselves and they were right! Why? Here comes another thing hiding behind positive mindset idea – a self-fulfilling prophecy.

"Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve" - N.Hill

Self-fulfilling prophecy is a psychological phenomenon compounded in 1948 by Robert K. Merton, also known as ‘Oedipus effect’. It’s like a thought or expectation that manifests in life because it has been thought. Simplifying, we get what we expect. This conception is clearly merged with the so-called law of attraction, according to which our thoughts are manifested in reality. So whatever believes you hold about yourself they will influence your actions, performance, behavior and practically whole life.

by Peter Fogden

In assumptions of the discussed theory we distinguish the Pygmalion effect or aureole effect, based on the usurpation that we achieve the results we expect, that awaited success appears in our life. It is about fulfilling a positive expectation towards someone because we have created this positive expectation. A similar process works in the opposite direction in the case of low expectations. And this applies not only to ourselves, but to the world around us and to other people.

Let me illustrate this using example of classic experiment from 1950, wherein social psychologist, professor Harold Kelley told one group of students that the next class would be led by a lecturer who is warm, progressive, critical, practical and determined.
In the second group, the word “warm” was replaced by “cold”. The result? New lecturer was assessed by the first students as independent and flexible, and by the second – as intolerant, explosive and stiff in beliefs. Sound impressive, right?

Now you know how important is to create a self-suggestion that will meet your goals. Here you really need to forget about all bullshit that keep you from the life you want. Don’t you even dare thinking that you are not enough educated, brave, creative, attractive, clever, ingenious. Fuck it, who told you that? Parents, teachers, other people? Fuck them to! If you think this way about yourself, what you need to do is replace that thinking with thoughts that will make you feel better! It’s not easy and quick process, but once you start you will discover a great difference in your life. So manifest it, use affirmations and imagine yourself the way you would like to see yourself. If you change the image of yourself in your head, your whole life will change.

While you are working on your own positive mindset you might wonder how is possible to stick to it, while you experiences some difficult times. I want you to memorize, repeat, keep in mind forever and if you still don’t get it, tattoo on your forehead:

there are no failures, only lessons.

Yes, we all fail, but it is our attitude that decides whether failure is failure. For people with positive mindset it’s always a lesson. If you learn something from the defeat, it’s not defeat anymore. Sometimes it might be a blessing we just need to look at everything from a different angle. I can tell you from my own experience that if my article were not rejected by newspaper, I would never start to focus on decent writing. Or if I had not been missed at the promotion, I would never have motivation to changed my job for one I really enjoy. The fact that something didn’t work out is just a hint of what you still need to work on. Think about it, how else should we learn and improve?

Your point of view, approach is the only thing you have control over. Even emotions are formed by behavior, and you have influence over it. Likewise life satisfaction is a matter of attitude, hence it is so vital to develop a sense of gratitude. Gratitude is like a magic spell which changes everything. Once you realize how many things you can be grateful for, you can instantly not only boost your mood, but gradually feel more satisfied with life. My life has changed since I began to be grateful for all these little things like peaceful morning with good book and coffee, beautiful sunset I could watch from my bedroom window, favorite song that I can listen over and over again on my phone. And all this leads to greater happiness, because our life consists of such small things. If you are reading this now on your laptop or phone I can assume that you belong to the lucky ones who are not in danger of war and misery, so even if you think that you have nothing to be grateful for, stop right there. You’re alive. You have a whole universe of possibilities in front of you

Your mind is powerful tool, it’s like the greatest, phenomenal computer created by nature. And it can work in your favor.Your job is to make sure you have the right ‘software’ – positive mindset. Feed it with beautiful thoughts full of gratitude, love and faith. Remember that all your thoughts are shaped by your attitude, and eventually you become what you think.

*Photo by Edu Lauton

First steps to your personal victory

Have you ever felt that your dreams overwhelming you? That they won’t fit in your life, that they are greater than your capabilities and strength? This is absolutely natural, as doubt is a bitch that sometimes coming as uninvited guest, sitting next to you and pushes on the sofa, drinks from your beer glass without permission and takes the remote control. But there is one good thing you should know – you are in control of your mind and you can kick out that ugly bitch out of your head.

You are in charge of your mind.

Someone said that if you can control your mind you can control everything. This is so true, so simple, so awesome and powerful. You must realize that everything starts in your head. Everything. To apply anything into your life you need to start from the thought. But to really make this magic works you need to support your thoughts with action. What if taking action scares and paralyzing you? Don’t panic, it’s totally ok.

Start small but dream big

When reality or thoughts about what you want to achieve overwhelm you, decide to start small. Don’t try to take everything right away and do not rush. Approach tasks and challenges with a calm mind. But first be clear on what you want to achieve. Simply as it is – to achieve your goals you need to have them defined, preferably in details. You need to know what you want and you need to focus on it.

If you don’t know where you are going, you won’t get anywhere

Why you need to be specific? We all know new year resolutions, right? Imagine that your goal was to loose weight. After a year the weight shows 99 kg and you weighed 100 kg year ago. Well, you achieved your goal, you’ve lost weight! But is this really a success? You know the answer. This is why when you set your goal be definite as much as you can. Until end of December I will loose 30 kg. Now, this looks like a plan. This is appropriately designated goal. This applies to everything – when you saying that you want to be fit, be happy, be successful, be healthier it actual means shit. Specify what being successful means to you – is it financial freedom that determines success? Social recognition or fame? Or maybe raising great children or creating art? Know what success means to you. Don’t get trapped in the abstract ‘shell words’.

Concrete and measurable goals are the basis. Write them down, describe them and specify the time you will need to achieve them. Think about your goals, imagine how you implement them. Start with one thing that will lead you to success and add next steps when you are ready. If something appear too hard think about it from different perspective. Imagine your goal or problem is a huge elephant which you have to eat – how will you do it? Bite at a time. It’s impossible to eat the whole elephant at once, but you can do it piece by piece. If your goal is big or difficult divide it to smaller parts and work on each part at the time.

With the right mindset everything is possible. You need to focus on your dreams, you must desire them like nothing else, you need to be crazy about them! Stay focus – don’t get distracted by things that don’t matter.

We attract the things we focus on. So focus on what you want. Build an attitude based on confidence and self believe. If you know deep inside you that you’ll win, Universe has your back 😉

The right mindset, the key to your personal success, lies in desire, inner harmony, focus, involvement and unwavering faith in your abilities.

As Henry Ford once said:

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right”